The art of rising above…

Posted in Family, Lessons, Life, teaching, Worship, writing by

Rise Above

The bible says in Mathew 5:8-9; “8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Today’s writing is not about me, but instead one that I consider a TRUE “Spiritual Father” and that I have the utmost respect for. Over the past several months many of you have been with me through my struggles and when I wrote the post “suicidal thoughts” about my experience with the leadership, the women in the church and the journey I went through. I received a massive amount of support through e-mails and comments and you have no idea how that helped me. As I clung to God and received restoration my family was blessed to find a new church home where I was re-introduced to a family that had made such an impact in my life as a young teenager. Although I was all grown up now and had scars His wife and He showed me that they had scars as well and that forgiveness is the first step of restoration, but choice is the second. Over the past several months I have heard the words “rise above it” as if it was the password to the promise land. And I never ever really, truly understood it until this past Monday night at a service where Bishop Cupples came and spoke. He spoke of the “transformative church” with principals that led to transformed people. Duplication of Jesus and who He is and what Jesus truly represents, not plastic replicas who give his disciples a bad name and open churches where gossip takes place instead of worship, but people who have been transformed by Jesus and his love and peace and grace. Transformed people change people for better or worse. Jesus never forces his will on us, one thing that we have free reign over are our choices and one that I have been told over and over is about the choice to keep my mouth shut and rise above any situation that was spoken against me, my family, or the will and destiny that God has for our lives, because God will take care of it; he is an on-time God.

One to always lead by example, my Pastor, has always done that. I have seen him on his face crying out to God for his enemies, I’ve been in meetings where he would tell his staff to rise above the talk of others when they would try and find people to accuse him of the imaginable, and I have seen him duplicate Jesus from the pulpit down. Always faithful to remain in the peace of God and consistent to tell us that the battle is not ours, but God’s and to stay a peacemaker.

So when Bishop Cupples closed the service Tuesday night there was a true God moment. Standing in front of him was a weeping, transformed, man saved by grace, and a walking testimony of who our loving God truly is – the truest and sincerest form of a leader, My Pastor; who after 3 years sat under leadership after his entire life was literally ripped away from people he thought loved and believed in him over a mistake that never involved anyone but his family. A man who proved countless times what it was to walk in forgiveness and still have a purpose and destiny in a God that truly loves his children. I sat in my chair holding back tears as I watch Bishop Cupples lay hands on my pastor and tell him that everything is restored in Jesus Name and the faithful words I’ve always heard – “rise above it”. I don’t even know how to put the moment into words, but if you ask anyone in the service you would hear that it was as if everything around our pastor that had been attacking him over the years crumbled to dust during that prayer that Bishop Cupples prayed. It was a true God moment that was full of everything our Holy God is and it offered hope and motivation to press on in the calling that has been placed on my pastor and the vision for the community.

How wide and how deep is the love of God to restore that which was lost?

It is not my place to speak of the pain and accusations that my Pastor and his family have gone through, but God didn’t wait long before he started moving mountains that had previously been obstacles. It’s so significant to know that our choices make or break us and that pure hearts and peacemakers show the art of rising above it all.

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When God is Silent…

Posted in Lessons, Life by

far away

 

So many times I find myself in a blur of activity. Work, Dinner, Laundry, Dog, Husband, Bills, more work, and the list goes on for what seems like forever. I try and am most successful at times with keeping my prayer time with God a priority, but this last week has been different. I haven’t “felt” God this past week. In fact I don’t remember receiving any answers to prayers and come to think of it I really didn’t have a desire to go to church  Sunday morning. So what is the matter with me and where is God? Where are you God?

Did I do something wrong? Some big sin that I haven’t asked for forgiveness for?

Are you mad at me?

Oh no, have I lost, perhaps… my christianity?? Surely not, why then do I not feel my savior, love of my life Jesus?

Perhaps… He has left me.

Often enough in our trained society of 90 seconds to the dinner table we tend to also put God in this category and if we don’t receive our answers in 90 seconds or less then we believe that we have been forgotten or left, but what is it that makes God silent because there are moments and seasons in our life where we do feel as if God has left or that there is a wall in between Him and our prayers. Just like this past week for me I haven’t felt particularly “close” to God and to be honest, it’s not like I chatted it up with Him this morning over a bagel and coffee. So what now?

First, you are not the only person who has felt distant from God. David, in Psalms 22:1-2 says, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief.” In fact the whole chapter is David basically saying God I need you, but I do not hear you. So know first that there have been many followers of Jesus that have been where you are right now and don’t lose hope.

Second, know that sometimes we have to press in a little harder, go a little deeper in our prayer closets. ” I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.”(a) So take the challenge of not doing the same thing that you’ve been doing and try studying and praying a little longer. Just like after I started dating my Husband there was a time when we both had to dig a little deeper to get a deeper knowledge of each other. Why would God, our creator, not be the same?

Finally, understand that God is not a “feeling” and that your relationship with God is not based on if you felt goosebumps during your prayer time or if you cried during a praise and worship song. Our faith and relationship in God goes deeper than that. Hebrews 13:8 says “He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” How awesome is that? What an encouragement to us when our day or week isn’t going like we planned! So don’t loose hope, “we walk by faith and not by sight!“(b)

So slow down, stop feeling sorry for yourself and allowing yourself to be defeated and get up and know that people have felt this way before. Then plan a date with God and don’t just chit chat, but really love on Him and know that your relationship is not a feeling, but that God loves you and does not change. Sometimes, I have found that it isn’t God that has left me, but my busy schedule that has made me so busy that I  have not let myself hear him. Take a minute and breathe…. Life is simple when we learn to prioritize what is important and then all the rest will fit in where it needs to.

 

-amb

 

(a) Proverbs 8:17 ESV

(b) 2 Corinthians 5:7

 

The Unlocked Dungeon

Posted in Lessons, Life, teaching, Worship, writing by

I want to share something with you that until now have only seen the pages of my personal prayer journal. I hope you are blessed by it, this is a true conversation between my Heavenly Father and me and after writing this I was truly healed of my insecurities. I normally would not share these personal writings with you, but I feel led to and I am going to follow that feeling and pray that this touches whoever is in need of encouragement.

God Bless,

Anna

 

 

Grab a drink and pull up a chair and let’s talk. I need to talk to you about something, If I don’t I just might explode. We haven’t had a good talk in a while and I am in desperate need of one. I need to release some of my inner most thoughts, even some of the ones I’ve been hiding.

 Just thinking about what I have to tell you have caused tears to flood my eyes, but for days, weeks, maybe even months I have felt as if I was hanging by a thread without any hope.  I have hid from you and I have hid what I’m telling you in hopes that you would not find out, but I don’t want to hold it in anymore. I have got to get this out.

In the past you told me I was beautiful, that I was the apple of your eye and my heart held on to those very words -they were the source of my life.  You carried me through tragedies and danced with me through pain and day to day our romance grew as you whispered life to me – I was yours and you were mine. My purpose for everything was centered on you; my speech, my walk, my confidence – I was my own type of invincible wrapped in your arms. My eyes were set like flint upon you and my desire was to give you my best, every ounce of my best, and then I wanted every ounce of my best to be even better than before – It was the perfect relationship. 

Then one day as I was giving you my best I saw someone else giving you their best as well and as much as I tried to shake it I had the strangest feeling that you might like their “best” better than mine. That thought was dismissed as nothing in “our” relationship seemed to be missing, but as my eyes began to open to others bringing their “best” to you I just couldn’t hold back these feelings that I had never felt before. I was angry that you were paying attention to them and deep down I wondered if you loved them more than me. Ashamed of the way I was thinking I chose to hide from you and instead of seeking the truth from you I fed that seed of what I now know as jealousy with things that I thought would taste as sweet as your love. Daily I would consume them – socially, privately, it did not matter, I was self-medicating myself with a silver spoon and yet, every time I opened my mouth to eat a hollowed out pastry I locked myself deeper into the dungeon of insecurity. 

Eventually, I believed my own lies – the ones where you had forgotten about me, never loved me, and that I was a monster when I saw my own reflection, but every once in a while there would be a spark in my dungeon that I would name hope that always made me curious as if you still here with me. 

One day my spoon was found rusted and not useable for the first time in 23 years of faithful service. Immediately my mind was taken to a place, a fond place – a memory actually, of when we used to dance. I look so beautiful – I feel so beautiful – and for a moment I am no longer trapped in my dungeon, but instead free again with my hair long and vibrant and blowing in the wind; oh and there’s JOY, such joy that I haven’t had in a long time; and then just as quick as it came it was gone. A single tear rolls down my plump cheek as I unconsciously whisper “I just want to know you again.” 

Hope visited me daily over the next few days and every day I would make a step towards the door of the dungeon hoping that I would have the courage to ask to be let out when I reached the door. Each day was just a small step, after several years of being in a dungeon my walk was unsteady and well my burden was extremely hard to carry. I had to take several stops to rest and some days I gave up and went back a few steps, but my desire was growing. I had not seen light in years due to me staying hidden in the back of my dungeon and with every step I was able to see more and more glimpses of light which caused me to want to continue on this seemingly strange journey of freedom. 

It was strange, the walk to the dungeon door, it seemed as if with every step closer I was losing a piece of heavy clothing that had been such a burden to carry. Every time an article hit the dark dungeon floor and dust flew up it was if I was able to recognize myself in a new way- a fresh way. 

When I reached the dungeon door I was surprised – shocked really, to find that it was unlocked and opened; it wasn’t until I actually stepped on the other side of the door that I remembered that I had left it unlocked just in case I ever wanted to leave. All this time I had lived in an unlocked dungeon of insecurity.

 So, that is how I got here, in this meeting with you and it has taken me years to tell you this, but now that I have I am hoping to have the answers that I have been needing since that first day when I saw that other  person offer up their “best” to you. I want you to know though – whatever the answer is I trust you. I don’t want to be separated from you again, even if that means you not loving me as much as you used to.

 Then with a warm smile and eyes like fire you looked deep in my soul and said, “Anna, don’t you understand? It was our dance that drew them to me in the first place.”

Processed food withdrawals

Posted in health, juicing, Lessons, Life, Uncategorized by

So it is day #5 of the 60 day juice fast and I have 55 days left to go….. I’m sick of juice – and feel as if I could drown myself in a bag of Doritos. It is 100 times harder when you are surrounded by this crap 24/7 (the doritos), not to mention a Father in Law who thinks chocolate is one of the fruits of the food pyramid and macaroni and cheese is the only vegetable he can name. So, I am being a little dramatic, but then again I have been well versed in fruits and veggies this past week. Point is, I have my work cut out for me in changing the cooking habits of our family in the next 60 days and today is a hard day.

As I wrote about yesterday though, my yes IS bigger than my no ( no matter how many times i have to tell myself) and I am staying strong and continuing on my juice fast. I am persevering through the aromas of baked chicken and rice that I have cooked my husband for dinner tonight and keeping my eye on the end result. Tonight I will indulge in a documentary about the world of processed food – that should do the trick.

If you think of me tonight or even read this post please take a moment to say a prayer for me or even send me a little encouraging note. You have no idea how support can help and tonight I need support from my friends.

Thanks in advance!

- Anna

My “YES” is bigger than my “no”

Posted in Family, health, juicing, Lessons, Life, Uncategorized by

I am currently on day #4 of my 60 day juiced fast and my personal accomplishments are off the charts and I am inclined to share them with you. First, I am down a whopping 10 pounds – oh yes honey, you just pick your jaw right off that floor and connect it right back to your mouth because this is the truth. Secondly, and this one will also be a type of confession, I mistakenly have been starving my Husband for days #1-3 and making him eat sandwiches while I focused on juicing (shame on me and as a southern wife no less, much less a proverbs 31 crown jewel – truly unacceptable). I must say that He truly has been a champ through this and so supportive that last night (day #3) I mustered up every ounce of strength I had in my body to prepare that man a home cooked meal. As if I was in my own production I created my first “clean” meal (well, mostly clean since I’m still learning); with my juice in hand the ground beef was being cooked perfectly and seasoned with sea salt, garlic, and fresh ground pepper while in another pan water rolled with a boil for my attention of whole grain pasta. I could hear the symphony in the background as a dash of sea salt went there and a gulp of juice here as my meal came together. The smell was so good that it almost made me waiver -almost, but my yes has become bigger than my no could ever be so even a sampling of this dinner was not an option.  “Ding” and with that the garlic bread is done; one sprinkle of natural parmesan cheese and I have cooked my wonderful and supportive Husband his first clean meal (well, mostly clean) – spaghetti with garlic bread.

It wasn’t easy to cook that meal and not even take a small taste, but like I mentioned earlier my yes has become bigger than my no ever could be. I say yes to my health, yes to my families health, yes to this journey and yes to the commitment that it takes to succeed.

If you are struggling with a goal or wanting to step out but just don’t have the push you think you need here it is – do it. Being proud of yourself is something that no one can ever give you and will restore a self confidence in you that I can’t even put into the correct descriptive words. So be encouraged and do what Nike says and “just do it”.

God Bless,
Anna

No Longer a Victim of My Mind

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Yesterday I had the bloodwork done and the doctor gave the official OK for me to begin my juice fast this morning so needless to say last night I was with pretty high hopes until I received the phone call about my bloodwork. The results of my tests showed that my triglyceride levels were at an astonishing high of 575 (the normal level is <150 so this was a serious concern) so with this news I was given two new prescriptions to begin taking (great, I’m doing this to get OFF medication NOT to add more). So my mountain top level of excitement was beginning to waiver, but I reminded myself that this would just be another reason to persevere and decided to do a juice taste test run … oh what a bad idea. I chose the meanest, greenest, healthiest recipe I could find and blended the fiar (that’s southern for “fire”) out of those fruits and veggies and with all my hopes, dreams, and fantasies of being a beautiful healthy woman I took a big gulp and immediately saw nothing but a dead, wrinkly, pale one as every ounce of self control was used to fight myself from throwing up my new nutritional concoction across my kitchen counter. So there I had it, a huge pitcher of green gut wrenching, although very nutritional, “grass” juice.

Tearful I sat down discouraged looking over the papers from the doctor thinking that I would never make it … I would never meet my goals … I would never be able to have a child because I would never be able to have a healthy pregnancy and yet at the same time I wanted  as much food as I food get my hands on. I begin remembering every failure, every fat comment, every failed dressing room experience from a high hope-that-something-fits shopping trip, and then suddenly something just clicked in me… what am I doing? … what am I thinking? It was then that Proverbs 4:23 came to my mind that says “Be careful what you think. Your thoughts run your life.”  So needless to say I changed my thoughts.

This morning I took my pitcher of green,tastes like grass, juice to work with me  and even though I didn’t necessarily “like” it I DID like that with every drink I drank I was changing my mind about myself, with every drink I drank I was changing my future, and that was worth every bad taste of that juice. By the end of the day I had drank the entire pitcher of juice and my sense of accomplishment was off the charts – my mountain top view was back and it is beautiful up here I must say. I truly believe that if God gave gold stars out to his daughter’s that he would’ve given me one today. Humbled in my accomplishment I came home to spend a little time in worship with God and find a “happier” juice recipe called fittingly enough the “eye-opener.”

Sometimes, if not always, it is ourselves who are the biggest hindrances to our success and it is those moments when we feel that we are at our weakest that God gives us the strength and encouragement for us to be at our strongest. He’s is an on time God and today he just  proved to be faithful once again.

I am no longer a victim of my mind. I am free. My thoughts now produce change and not chains.

God Bless,
Anna

My “Why” for Juicing

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I must say that the commitment towards the journey of a fruits and vegetables juice fast was not a diet fad that I was mystically drawn into with the lie that one sip would take away all of my fat problems and I would reap the benefits of a “skinny-minny”. It didn’t happen this way at all, in fact it came as one of the hardest decisions concerning my health that I have ever made in my life and I know that it will be a daily decision that I will be making to continue on my journey. I also know that this journey will never be over because “health” doesn’t have a stopping point, so when I made a decision for my health I made a decision for the rest of my life.

In the past I have started off every year with a new bright idea that I was going to drop 50 pounds or 10 pounds in one month I would proudly proclaim and tell others around me to “hold me to it” who had no more faith in my statement that I would reach my goal than the candy bar I eagerly shoved in my mouth as I made the statement. I was my own worst enemy – a hypocrite at its best.

I was always a “chubby” child growing up, I’ve never known what it is like to actually be the size a doctor would consider “appropriate” for my age, height, etc. and would regularly fantasize about what it would be like to be “skinny” as if a complete life would not be achievable without having the physique of one of the airbrushed and hungry beauties in the fashion magazines or on television. These types of thoughts would send me into a viscous cycle of depression and self-loathing as I would substitute and emptiness that only God could fill with food. As you can imagine years in this type of detrimental pattern destroyed my health and I now sit at borderline diabetic diagnosis and BMI scale of legitimate “obese.” You would think that I would be shocked into action by these words when told by a doctor, but believe me I was un-moved. The scale reading 298.8lbs wasn’t even enough to motivate my change, instead it would send me back into my self-loathing as I kept my mind clouded with lies that I could never change. 

One day, something did change though, something clicked and it wasn’t some celebrity story on tv or a miracle drug with false promises, it was a person who took the time to not look at me with disgust, but to call out a person that only a loving God could see that all this time, all these years, I thought was hidden deep down inside of me. It is amazing how one look from a creator who designed and destined me for his greatness can fill every void that I ever tried to fill with food; every insecurity, every hurt, every rejection, every failure, everything. So this changed my mindset and the way I thought about myself; I no longer thought that I deserved to be fat, God had delivered me from that bondage that the enemy was using over me.

Once my mindset had changed I knew that I wanted to find something that encouraged my journey not only to health but with God. Discipline and longevity are my goals for this. I was turned on to a documentary by a friend call Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead that was about juicing and the guy in the documentary said something that blew my mind (I’ll paraphrase) “when you are a kid and you fall off of your bike and scrape your knee, you put a Band-Aid on it and in a couple of days when you pull the band-aid off the scrape is healed because the body naturally healed itself – your body has what it needs to heal itself.” So when I heard this I immediately thought about the Garden of Eden from Genesis 1 in the Bible, God provided everything man would ever need to survive, and something in my spirit just clicked – this is it for me. God provided the earth with fruits and vegetables full of nutrients that our body not only needs but craves. Also, the bible talks about tons of fasts, it is a regular practice and there are several fasts mentioned throughout (a few types are the Daniel’s fast, Esther’s fast, and Jesus’ 40 day fast). We get so wrapped up in our takeout food that we forget what real, natural, God-given food is. It is time for a change.

So, these are my “why’s” and I am sharing them with you. I hope they inspire you and give you hope to fill any emptiness you may feel. There are many, many, MANY, reason to want to become healthy my story was because for years I had a void that when it boiled down to it only Jesus could fill the area I was for so long hiding from him, but maybe yours is another area I was facing – the borderline diabetic or full blown diabetes, NOW is the time to change and I encourage you to join me on this journey to health with juice and vegetable fasting/juicing and reap the benefits.

If you would like to join my facebook group called “The Juicer’s” and begin your journey with me and other “Juicer’s”, you can here. There are only benefits to gain and friendships to make along the way :)

 

God Bless,

Anna Burnett

Merry Christmas from the Burnett’s!!

Posted in announcement, Family, Life, Marriage by

Oh my, where to start? First, it is my FAVORITE season – Christmas!! The time where we all get dressed up in our ugliest sweaters, sing fa-la-la-la-la and give God the glory for the birth of our savior JESUS CHRIST!! It is a time of family,  gifts, food, and wonderful rememberances. This past week I have been super busy trying to do our FIRST (and possibly our last) Christms family photo session because this year I had a grand idea of sending all of our family and friends photo Christmas cards. I did not understand that this adventure would consist of me running around with my head cut off trying to dress my husband, myself, stay cool and not glisten too much (that’s southern for sweatin’!), and keep Toto clean and with a bow on while she eagerly awaited to chase a cat on my parent’s farm. It was a busy day to say the least and now that it is over and I can share our little family with my simply-anna world nothing thrills me more! So Merry Christmas from our family, Bill, Me, and Toto!

- amb

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A Thankful Heart…

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With all the hustle and bustle of the beginning of the holiday season and with today being the nationally recognized day to be “thankful” I would like to take a moment aside from my cooking and share a couple of things I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day.

First, I am thankful that God still believes in me and believed in me enough to save me. So many times we forget the magnitude of the sacrifice it takes to lay down your life for someone especially not knowing if their love will ever be returned. That is what Jesus did for us – loved us enough to die for us anyways without the promise of us ever loving him back in return. That is the most awesome and humbling thing to know that I am loved by someone that much. If you do not know the God I am talking about I urge you to get to know him – he’s wonderful, I promise.

Secondly, I would like to thank my Husband, Bill, for always being my support. It has been a journey these past three years and I am so glad that our love has grown stronger. Our marriage rings true to the scripture that says “What God has joined together let no man seperate.”

Thirdly, I would like to jumble everything together and just say that I am thankful for my life that God has so graciously blessed me with; this includes my family, my dogs, my co-workers, my material possessions, my spiritual giftings, and so, so, so, much more. I am thankful for every single moment of my life; for the moments of pain that remind me that I am still alive and for the moments of happiness that remind me of why I am still alive. I would also like to thank those of you who follow my writing and for those who have sent me comments – you truly mean the world to me and your encouragement does not go un-noticed, I promise.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you savour every moment you have with your loved ones and if you just so happen to be spending Thanksgiving alone (which is what my hubs and I are doing this year) I hope that you find  a person to bless because it isn’t just about the turkey, desserts, or midnight sales, it’s about the grattitude in our hearts and don’t you think someone would want to feel that as well? So find someone and bless them today – share your turkey, invite someone to eat with you (people seldom kill the people who feed them – :0) – ).

I love you all and Happy Thanksgiving!!

-amb

70 x’s 70

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If you follow me on facebook you saw where I posted about forgiveness the other day, if you didn’t see it I said:

“Forgiveness isn’t an overnight pill you take it is a choice. A choice to forgive and allow God to remove the bitterness, anger, etc. from your heart and heal you. Unfortunately, today, I spoke to soon about a situation that I had [previously] sought God over and pull the scab [of healing] off… Now, I feel the pain again… back to square one.”

Throughout the day I silently prayed to God and the answer I would received was “70 x’s 70″ nothing more, nothing less, just “70 x’s 70″.

Sometimes God encourages us to expand our knowledge; so many times I would think that forgiveness is just forgiving a wrong done against you, but as I mature in my relationship with Christ I see that forgiveness grows in us. Frogiveness is a choice and it is one that we must choose daily. It isn’t always easy to forgive others – our fleshly selves have a natural tendency to keep score and hold grudges that turns so easily into bitterness.

I believe that Jesus’ principal of the 70×70 was for us to learnt hat no matter how many times a person causes pain in our lives that our attitude must be forgiveness. We must be able to say “your actions caused pain in my life, but I choose to forgive” or “your words hurt my feelings, but I choose to forgive.” My attitude is forgiveness because I know that we fight not against “flesh and blood“. However, I believe that even though it is God’s will for us to forgive and have a heart full and able to forgive I do not belive that it is God’s will for us to have people in our lives who constantly cause pain and turmoil. God encourages us to have healthy boundaries. If someone has wronged you then pray, forgive, and then take the necessary actions to set up boundaries in your life to prevent this from happening again. We can’t control other’s actions, but we can control our actions and responses.

 

-amb